Love Addiction | Symptoms, Effects and Causes

Love is a fundamental part of life, enriching every relationship and experience that we have. However, when feelings of love become overwhelming and uncontrollable, they can become a dangerous love addiction. Often overlooked or misunderstood, love addiction is very real and can be just as damaging as other, more recognised dependencies. The harm caused can be to both the individual and those close to them, but early recognition of love addiction signs and symptoms can prevent the worst effects.

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What is love addiction?

One easy-to-understand love addiction definition is a compulsion – a powerful, overwhelming drive – to experience the feelings and emotions of being in love. This overwhelming need goes beyond normal affection, creating an intense, all-consuming desire that can take over your life.

Love addiction can take various forms in different people. Some may find themselves overly dependent on a specific person, needing constant affirmation and attention to feel valued. Others might chase the high of new romance, constantly seeking out new relationships to experience the rush that comes with the “honeymoon period”.

On the other hand, some people have a powerful urge for love but are also frightened of being intimate with someone. This can cause them to sabotage their relationships, distance themselves sexually from partners or become obsessed with somebody they know they can never be with.

While being in love is usually a positive experience, love addiction can be very hard to live with and can even lead to behaviours like excessive contact or stalking. The focus may be a current partner, someone from a past relationship or even a complete stranger, but in all cases, love addiction can cause huge harm to everyone involved.

Love addiction can be an isolated condition and can also be a dual-diagnosis with different mental health disorders, co-dependency issues and other forms of behavioural addiction like sex addiction.

How does love addiction develop?

Love addiction taps into your brain’s reward system, which has evolved over human history to ensure we bond with others and keep reproducing. Brain scans show that when we fall in love, experience an attraction, or even just think about someone special, our brain lights up in similar areas as it does with drug use. This activation releases a cocktail of chemicals, particularly endorphins, that enhance pleasure and attachment.

When you start chasing this pleasure, however, your brain reinforces the love-seeking behaviour. Over time, these experiences become hardwired into the subconscious, making pursuing romantic highs an entrenched and automatic part of your behaviour. If you can’t satisfy their needs, which become ever more intense as love addiction takes hold, you may begin to experience something like withdrawal. This creates symptoms like intense mood swings, anxiety and feelings of emptiness when the love or romance you crave isn’t available.

As love addiction intensifies, you may start continually seeking out new romantic interests to experience the thrill of infatuation over and over. This pattern usually leads to a string of unfulfilling and superficial relationships, each failing to satisfy your love addiction fully.

Do I have a love addiction?

It is often hard to tell when intense feelings of love cross into addiction, as love is an everyday part of our lives. However, if your pursuit of love is causing distress or feels uncontrollable, it might be time to evaluate your behaviour more closely. Here are some potential signs of love addiction to look out for:

  • Your mind is constantly preoccupied with thoughts of love or the person you are in love with.
  • Your sense of peace or happiness depends heavily on being in a relationship or the affection of others.
  • You change or hide aspects of yourself to fit what you think your partner wants.
  • You often feel guilty or ashamed about your romantic choices or behaviour in relationships.
  • You hesitate to open up about your thoughts and emotions out of fear of judgment.
  • You chase after new relationships, hoping they will fill an emotional emptiness.
  • You find it hard to maintain or build meaningful relationships.
  • You dwell on past relationships, finding it difficult to move on and achieve closure.
  • Love and romantic thoughts constantly distract you from focusing on other life aspects.

If you notice these love addiction symptoms, then it’s best to take them seriously. Getting professional love addiction help early is the best way to avoid the worst consequences.

What causes love addiction?

You may be wondering why you are affected by love addiction, but other people aren’t. The difference often lies in underlying factors which are unique to each of us. Some of the factors which are most often associated with love addiction include:

Inherited genetics
Just like physical traits, your susceptibility to love addiction can be inherited. Your genetic makeup not only determines your appearance but may also influence how prone you are to addictive behaviours, including the intense pursuit of love.
Personal history
The roots of love addiction often trace back to difficult early life experiences, including emotional, sexual and physical abuse. Such adverse experiences during formative years can severely influence your emotional health and ability to forge healthy relationships
Brain chemistry
At the heart of love addiction lies the role of neurotransmitters, notably dopamine and endorphins. These brain chemicals are key players in how we experience pleasure and happiness. In people with addiction, these neurotransmitters are typically found at elevated levels, offering a possible explanation for the tendency towards addictive behaviours.
Isolation and loneliness
For those struggling with feelings of isolation, becoming overly fixated on someone new or rushing into relationships can become a coping mechanism. This pattern may develop into a love addiction, as the terror of loneliness compels them to cling to a relationship, regardless of its healthiness.
Mental health challenges
When someone is grappling with mental health issues such as depression or anxiety, they might turn to romantic relationships as a source of comfort or escape. This dependency on relationships to provide relief can easily spiral into a love addiction. If the underlying mental health problems then go unaddressed or if the relationships fail, the emotional fallout can be severe, often worsening the original issues.

The potential harm caused by love addiction

The harm caused by love addiction can be enormous for you, your loved ones and other people affected. Some of the biggest harms include:

  • Challenges in forming genuine or lasting relationships.
  • Intense fear of being abandoned and left alone.
  • Placing partners and relationships on a pedestal with impossible expectations.
  • Staying in damaging relationships even though you know you should leave.
  • Manipulating partners emotionally to maintain the relationship.
  • Risking valuable friendships and family relationships by being too possessive or demanding.
  • Experiencing worsening mental health issues like depression, anxiety and low self-esteem.
  • Becoming socially isolated due to overwhelming relationship focus.
  • Facing legal consequences for behaviours like stalking or coercive behaviour.

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How to stop a love addiction?

The first step in recovering from love addiction is to enter a detox period – a time when you deliberately avoid any form of romantic engagement or love-driven behaviours. Like quitting drugs, this can provoke serious withdrawal symptoms that test your resolve and emotional stability. To navigate this difficult period successfully, it is essential to undergo a professional behavioural addiction rehab programme so you can get comprehensive support and expert guidance.

 

The NHS may provide some basic support for those struggling with sex addiction, but a private rehab centre can offer more targeted treatment. These centres specialise in sex addiction recovery, featuring programmes designed to address both the psychological and behavioural aspects.

Get professional love addiction help today

Deciding to seek help for love addiction is the beginning of a transformative journey. If you’re feeling lost about where to start, Addiction Helper is here to guide you. We can find the best recovery programmes for you. Reach out to us today and benefit from our expert team’s guidance.

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Our compassionate team are ready and available to take your call, and guide you towards lasting the lasting addiction recovery you deserve.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can love addiction happen without being in a relationship?
Absolutely, love addiction isn’t just about being in a relationship. It can manifest as an intense longing for intimacy or a constant search for a romantic connection, even if you are currently single.
Is love addiction the same as sex addiction?
No, the two conditions are different, though they may seem similar. Love addiction is about an intense attachment to the idea of romance and love, while sex addiction centres around a compulsive pursuit of sexual gratification.
Are love addicts prone to toxic relationships?
Yes, unfortunately, love addicts often find themselves in unhealthy relationships. Their need for emotional connection and fear of being alone might lead them to overlook red flags and toxic behaviours from partners (or themselves).

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