Last Updated:
May 16th, 2025
Codependency and Addiction | Support Options
What is codependency?
Codependency is a pattern of behaviour where someone becomes deeply preoccupied with another person’s struggles, often losing sight of their own needs in the process. It’s common in relationships affected by addiction but can form in any dynamic where one person takes on a constant caretaking role.
Rather than setting healthy emotional boundaries, the codependent individual may find their self-worth tied to being needed or in control. They might suppress their own feelings, struggle to say no or prioritise keeping the peace over speaking up.
Over time, this can lead to exhaustion, resentment and a loss of identity.
What causes codependency?
The exact cause of codependency isn’t fully clear, but many believe it develops as a learned behaviour influenced by several factors.
These can include:
- A strong personal tendency to care for others, sometimes at the expense of one’s own needs
- Difficult experiences in a dysfunctional family, such as constant conflict, emotional neglect or being forced to take on adult responsibilities too early (known as parentification)
- Growing up in a home where substance abuse was present
Simply put, there’s no single explanation that fits every situation. That’s why research into personality and emotional traits can be especially useful in helping us understand why some individuals are more vulnerable to it than others.
One study explored the relationship between personality traits and codependency in women living with addicted partners. The researchers found that certain traits significantly increased the likelihood of codependency:
High neuroticism
Associated with emotional instability, anxiety and a tendency to ruminate. This can make someone more likely to feel responsible for their partner’s well-being and emotionally overwhelmed by the addiction.
Low agreeableness
Linked to reduced empathy, difficulty trusting others and a tendency toward conflict or defensiveness, all of which can complicate healthy relationship dynamics.
Low openness to experience
Reflects resistance to change and limited willingness to try new coping strategies, often leaving the person stuck in a repetitive, unhealthy pattern.
Can codependency lead to addiction?
It’s easy to view codependency and addiction as two completely different struggles, one being emotional, the other physical. But when you look closer, you’ll start to see how closely they can be linked. In some cases, the person who’s constantly focused on looking after their partner’s addiction may quietly develop an unhealthy coping mechanism of their own.
Here are some ways that link can form:
Using substances to cope with stress or burnout
When someone is constantly managing their partner’s emotions, covering up relapses or living in a cycle of hope and disappointment, their own nervous system takes a hit. They may feel constantly on edge and emotionally burnt out.
For example, a glass of wine after dinner to “unwind” can easily become a nightly ritual and eventually, the only way they feel they can calm down.
Putting themselves last
A codependent person often pours all their energy into helping their partner. This could be by attending appointments with them, worrying about their progress or managing finances when things spiral.
Meanwhile, their own needs take a back seat. They may stop socialising, lose interest in hobbies or neglect their own health.
In that emotional vacuum, substances can quietly slip in as a form of comfort or escape.
Struggling to open up or ask for help
People with low openness often resist vulnerability or change. Instead of reaching out to friends or professionals for support, they keep everything inside, believing they need to “stay strong” or “just get through it.”
Over time, this emotional bottling can turn into quiet, habitual substance use as a way to deal with the pressures of not being able to ask for help.
Living in emotional chaos
Codependent relationships can involve frequent arguments or sudden emotional shifts, especially when issues like addiction are involved. Those low in agreeableness may struggle to resolve conflict or navigate tension calmly, and this could lead to feelings of rejection or sadness.
When there’s no outlet for those emotions, substances may offer temporary relief.
Can codependency interfere with recovery?
Now, you may feel as though the issues with addiction recovery lie solely in the person with the addiction, after all, they’re the ones going through the difficult recovery journey. But in this case, it’s actually the partner’s codependent behaviour that may cause complications during recovery.
The intention is rarely harmful but the emotional patterns tied to codependency can unknowingly interfere with the process of healing.
Here’s how it could be problematic:
- Enabling: A codependent partner may struggle to allow their loved one to face consequences, often rescuing or covering for them. This can reduce the addict’s sense of responsibility and stall progress.
- Micromanaging: High neuroticism may cause anxiety and a need to control recovery (e.g., calling the rehab centre frequently or demanding updates), which can overwhelm both the recovering person and the treatment team.
- Struggling with boundaries: A person low in openness might resist new rules or boundaries set during rehab, seeing them as cold or unnecessary. For example, if the partner in recovery asks for space to attend therapy and process things independently, the codependent partner may see this as rejection and interfere by constantly visiting or emotionally guilt-tripping.
- Communication breakdowns: Low agreeableness can make it difficult to collaborate or accept professional advice, which adds stress to the already delicate balance of recovery.
These actions can create emotional friction and make it harder for the recovering person to trust the process and stay focused. That’s why recovery often works best when both individuals receive support; one for addiction, the other for codependency.
How are codependency and addiction treated?
Inpatient rehab offers a space where people can focus entirely on their recovery without the distractions or triggers of daily life. Here, addiction is treated through a structured programme that includes detox, various forms of therapy and ongoing support.
While codependency isn’t the primary focus, the therapeutic work often touches on behaviours relevant to codependency. As a result, many people dealing with both addiction and codependency find clarity and growth during their time in rehab.
The detox stage
Detox is often the first step in addiction recovery. It’s the process of safely clearing substances from the body, helping the person become physically stable enough to begin deeper emotional and psychological work.
Once the fog of addiction begins to lift, the person is in a better position to engage in therapy.
Therapy
Several therapeutic approaches used in inpatient rehab are especially effective for people experiencing both addiction and codependency:
- Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT): This helps people identify harmful thought patterns that fuel addiction and codependent behaviours. For example, someone might believe they must “save” or “fix” others to feel worthy. CBT teaches how to challenge these beliefs and replace them with healthier, self-affirming ones.
- Dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT): DBT helps people regulate intense emotions and build resilience. For someone with codependency, DBT’s focus on interpersonal effectiveness can be particularly helpful, as it teaches how to set boundaries without guilt and how to express needs in a balanced way.
- Holistic therapies (e.g., art, yoga, mindfulness): These help individuals reconnect with themselves. When codependency has caused someone to focus entirely on others, these therapies gently bring the attention back to self-care and self-expression.
Aftercare services
Recovery doesn’t stop when inpatient rehab ends. Aftercare services are essential for maintaining progress and continuing to grow. This may include ongoing counselling, support groups like Narcotics Anonymous or Codependents Anonymous and relapse prevention planning.
What’s next?
If you or someone you care about is struggling with addiction and codependency, know that there’s help available. At Addiction Helper, we offer confidential advice and guidance on finding the right treatment. Whether you’re seeking support for yourself or a loved one, our team is here to listen and guide you every step of the way.
Call us today for free, no-obligation advice and take the first step towards recovery.
Our compassionate team are ready and available to take your call, and guide you towards lasting the lasting addiction recovery you deserve.
Frequently Asked Questions
(Click here to see works cited)
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- Bleckmann E, Wieczorek LL, Wagner J. The Role of Agreeableness, Neuroticism, and Relationship-Specific Features in Self- and Other-Perceptions of Conflict Frequency in Adolescent Relationships with Parents and Peers. J Youth Adolesc. 2024 Jul;53(7):1630-1645. doi: 10.1007/s10964-024-01951-6. Epub 2024 Feb 24. PMID: 38400960; PMCID: PMC11136840.
